I'm done complaining

Recently, I have found myself complaining more often than usual. Big, little, important, or unimportant, the complaints ruin everything in my day. It's horrible really. Yesterday, I was complaining . . .

Why do I always have to get off from work an hour late? oh, why can't I have my own car? where the heck is scott?! he was supposed to pick me up! why can't the people actually READ the menus instead of asking me everything they could just read in there? why can't home be a better place sometimes? why do I have to go to this place or that?

It just made my day a grudgy one. : (

But I remember two things that will help me not to complain so much (or anymore, but that is like impossible) -

1. I'm complaining that I get off late for work.... work that I am PAID for... by the hour. Like, I'm sitting there, making money complaining. How terrible is that really?! I'm complaining about something that really doesn't matter in comparison to what the people in third world countries have to deal with.

I'm complaining about getting off late from work.... they wonder if they'll be able to bring money back to feed the family a meal. I'm complaining about not having my own car to do with what I want.... They wonder how they're going to take a sick relative to the nearest medical clinic without transportation. I'm complaining about my laundry not being first priority when I come home on weekends..... They work hard sewing together their one shirt and pair of pants so that the garments last years.

As soon as the Spirit convicted me, I just felt sick for all the stupid and insensitive complaining I had been doing for awhile now. I couldn't believe how thoughtless I was to think those things I did. Now, if I ever begin to complain again, I am going to pray for the people who have less than I do.

2. Complaining doesn't change my situation. At all. It just makes it worse because I am focusing on what I think is the problem. But by praying to rid myself of the complaints, God can change my attitude towards the situation. So maybe the situation won't change, but my thoughts towards it will change the way I see the problem.

I'm so done with complaining. DONE.

God's Discipline

Hebrews 12 talks a lot about discipline. But mostly it talks about God's love. Because He loves us, He disciplines us so that we learn not to do what we did again. He only wants the best for us, and so when we make mistakes and start doing things for ourselves our way and not His, he first convicts us through the Holy Spirit, and then disciplines us accordingly.

Hebrews 12:11 reads, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

SO, discipline not only shows us how much God loves us, but also is blessing later when (and if) we learn from it! Ahhhh but it doesn't feel good for as long as it lasts. :( It hurts. A lot. Yet God is right beside us helping us through it.

For me, reading those verses in Hebrews 12 has helped me see the "point" in discipline. I never liked it when my dad put me in my room or spanked me or whatever. But of course I realized that he only did that when I did something that could (or did) potentially harm me or my relationship with my parents or God. So there was always a super good reason that my human father disciplined me. HOW MUCH MORE does my Father in heaven love me and therefore want to discipline me in order that I might be in better relationship with Him???!!!

Yeah. Pretty awesome.

I shall not withhold

Abraham stood next to the alter he had just made. His son Isaac stood next to him, looking very confused I am sure. "Where is the lamb for the sacrifice, father?", the young man asked. "God himself will provide the offering, my son", Abraham replied as he choked back tears.

Abraham had been commanded by God to give his son, his only son as an offering to the Lord only the night before. Abraham and his wife Sarah were not able to have children for years. Many years. But God blessed them in their later years and gave them Isaac, of which Abraham and Sarah were very proud.

But here Abraham stood, ready to put his son on the alter as a sacrifice to the Lord whom He had followed and obeyed his entire life. But hadn't God given Isaac to him as a reward for waiting patiently for a child? Why in the world would God now take him away from his loving parents. I am sure Abraham was very sorrowful. But he knew that he must obey what the Lord was asking him to do, and laid Isaac on top of the wood for the fire. I can't even imagine what was going through Isaac's head. I wonder if Abraham told him that God commanded Abraham to do so. But either way, Abraham was about to slay his son when an angel of the Lord came and said "Abraham, Abraham! Do not harm the child! Now I know that you fear God because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son." And there, in the bushes was a ram, and Abraham sacrificed the animal and then he and the child left.

What a story. Abraham was blessed by God because he did not withhold anything from God. Not even his only son! The angel said that Abraham feared God because he gave everything to God.

What do I withhold from the Lord? I need to give it all to God no matter how hard it is, because He deserves every bit of me... not just the parts of me that are easy to give away. He wants all of me. And I will be blessed by giving all.

I must not withhold anything from God. After all, "no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless".

PEACE!

You know when you have God's peace. No doubt. Right now, according to the world, I should not have peace at all. I should be at war with God and everyone and everything. There is some stuff going on in my life that should make me angry or sad or disappointed or just very broken down and disheartened. And I felt that way for a little bit. But man, I cannot even describe the peace that I am experiencing right now. God has totally wrapped His arm around me and told me that everything is happening for a reason and that I should not worry about what has happened because it will all work out for good in the end. I do not know when that "end" is, but I will choose to trust in God and His good will. He knows everything that is going on in my life and has chosen to allow it to happen for a reason; that is SOOOO comforting. First He created me in love, and then when I sinned and messed my whole life up, He sent His son to die for me on the cross and take away my sin so that I could one day be with Him in heaven.... and now THIS - He gives me peace about everything that is happening in my life. I honestly CANNOT explain it, it's THAT cool. And I may not have it for very long... I am not sure if it depends mostly on me, or on Him. Like, I guess if I pursue this peace then He will give it to me! I WILL pursue it because NOTHING IS BETTER. I'm super encouraged by this, and I want anyone reading this to know that knowing God gives you SO MUCH TRUE PEACE. Embrace it now!!!!

I am Reminded

So up to this point, most of my blogging has had some sort of purpose to it; each blog I posted had an idea or theme to it. But right now, I feel like I need to blog but have no idea what to say . . .

It's been awhile since I have been on here, as camp and work and doctors appointments have taken the time I had and transformed my life into a whirlwind. I honestly don't know what to say. Like, I guess you might expect me to say what I "learned" at camp, or through my latest experiences as a Jesus Follower in this world the past few months. And I would love to convey that to you . . .if there were one or more things I could say that I actually "learned". But I don't know if I can truly say that God taught me this or that. Don't get me wrong; there have been many times that God taught me lessons in life. It's just that this summer, God has been continually REMINDING me of lessons he taught me before, and helping me to apply them to what happens in my everyday life.

1. God has reminded me that He is the Ultimate Healer. Before and after camp, I had to get medical tests done to figure out the reason for some pain I was having. I was ticked having to have all these tests done and then being given pain meds only to come back three exact weeks later to have it all done again. I didn't understand (and of course I still don't), but the second time around, I began thinking about how as much as the doctors do their job well, my God is my Healer. He ALONE can heal me. He heals me through doctors. He heals me through pain meds. Or whatever. And I just was worrying too much about stuff that God wants to take from me. He WANTS me to just throw my hands up in the air and say, "God, take my pain and worry from me! I can't do this on my own!". And being human, I sometimes definitely convince myself that I can heal myself. Yet, I cannot. God can.

2. God has reminded me that He is everywhere. Now, I totally knew that before camp. But somehow at camp, I got into the mindset that thinks God is working HERE or THERE. And we sometimes say, "God is definitely here". But that is because we SEE what He is doing, or we HEAR His voice, or we FEEL His presence. But what about when we don't? A better question: Should we ever NOT see, or hear, or feel Him? I think that if we open our eyes and our ears, we WILL know He is everywhere. But I definitely was not always aware at camp of what God was doing. And I don't know why. But Friday night, I needed a word from God. In fact, I guess I had needed this word from God the whole week, but was a little discouraged because Friday was the last day of camp, and I didn't see anything coming out of it for me (selfish I know, but after putting so much effort into the kids I was counseling, my heart wanted a word from God too). But I was not looking for it sadly enough. God had to grab one of His other children and speak His word through that person to me. He said, "Look my child, I am everywhere. Just because you do not think you see me working, I am working. And I want you to look for me. Everywhere. Because I. Am. There.

I'm not sure all of what I wrote up there. I felt like most of it didn't even make sense. But it sure did to me, as God reminded me of His awesome healing power and His incessant presence. In regards to applying all this in the future, I am not worried about my health anymore. I am totally trusting God to take care of me. It's hard for sure, but I pray, and I know that He is holding my hand and saying, "It'll all be alright". I am also looking for God in EVERYTHING. Because He is everywhere, I should be able to find Him working everywhere. And I DO see Him working. I just had to be reminded to open my eyes. : O

I'm really tired, and I have work tomorrow, so I'll say goodnight, but always remember - - - Jesus loves you!

Haha, and now I know the title of this blog. : )

Repentance

"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord . . ." Acts 3:19

For a long time, I did not understand what repenting was. For a time, I though "to repent" was to say I'm sorry and move on. But as I learned, repentance is so much more than just mouthing the words I'm sorry.

I'm sure everyone has friends who, when they realized they have hurt you, come to you and apologize. Or even more common, they say they're sorry through email, phone, text, gosh the list does not end. Yet after they've said sorry, it's not even a week before they go back to what they did before and make the mistake again. Sad.

THAT is NOT repentance.

Believers.org says, "The word translated repent in English New Testaments is the Greek word metanoeo... - - - Bullinger's Dictionary says metanoeo means, "to perceive afterwards, hence, to change one's mind and purpose. This change is always for the better, and denotes a change of moral thought and reflection; not merely to repent of, nor to forsake sin, but to change one's mind and apprehensions regarding it. Metanoeo denotes to reform, to have a genuine change of heart and life from worse to better."

SO. To repent is to TURN from your old ways. It's actually a commitment to turn 180 degrees from your sin. It's an attitude. It's ACTION, not just words. To repent is to change your thoughts about sin. Yeah. It's an intense undertaking. It's a serious thing, repenting to the Lord.... He wants to be able to change you and mold you in order for you to better serve Him and His kingdom. But repentance must happen first. You must be willing to die to your old self and leave all the old sin behind, and you must be firm in your decision to look only at the Lord and what He knows is best for you.

But how does that even work considering that even though we are now Christians living for Jesus in all we do, we are still human beings and so are still struggling with the desires of this world. It's still fact. We will sin. We can't NOT sin. BUT, YET, HOWEVER, :D Because of our commitment to Christ, if we are sincere in our repentance to Him, He will help us!!!!!!

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

He provides the way out. It's our choice to take that way out or not. I have been at this point many times in my life. I've seen the ways out, and chosen not to take them. And I always end up reaping the consequences and wishing I had not done the things I choose to do. But the Lord always provided ways out, and I took them after realizing what I had done had caused my Lord so much pain. And by repenting sincerely, I have turned from my old ways and the Lord has helped me to stay on His path. I don't entirely not think about doing the same things again of course (since we're only human), but I know that the Lord will continue to be by my side showing me what awesome things He has done, and distracting me from what useless stuff I could do that would mean nothing and would only make me feel terrible.

And to be distracted by God is amazing. Just saying. :)

Repent then, and let God work through you to show you what awesome stuff He has in store for your life!

The hope of this world has a place for me in HEAVEN.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." - - - John 14:1-3

Yeah. Cool. This place is totally not my home. This earth... this trouble-filled, self-centered, joy-ride-seeking world is not where I belong. No. Because I am God's child through my belief in His Son Jesus Christ and His sacrifice on the cross for my sin, my home is in heaven with Him. And that excites me greatly! I honestly can't wait for the day I see my God face to face! And hear His voice! Ohhhhh. I wanna be there with Him. Yes. I'm also real excited because God has made a special place for me in heaven. Just for me. Not for anyone else. Only. For. Me. And when the Lord takes me up there, He will show me this awesome room that He has prepared for me. And I will live there in contentment just always being in the presence of the God I so love and desire.

And you what else??!! MY LORD IS GONNA GIVE ME A NEW AND BETTER NAME IN HEAVEN!!!!

"To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it." Revelation 2:17b

WHOA. I get a new name given to me by God. I wonder what it is! Is it gonna be some foreign name? Or some long name in my language? Is it even going to be a name I can pronounce or even comprehend?! Will I even care? I don't know, but just knowing that God has a sweet crazy awesome stellar name written on a white stone for me in heaven makes me wanna praise Him all the more for loving me so much to give me all that He has already given me and has promised to give me in the future!!!!

But I live here. In this world that seems to have no hope. I smile though! Do you know why?! Because I have the hope of the world inside my heart!!! JESUS CHRIST. Yeah. HE is the hope of the world. He has ALWAYS been that hope. And He will forever be that hope as long as this world exists. So as long as I hold the hope of Christ inside of me, I will tell others of this hope! So anyone who reads this, know that Jesus Christ is the ONLY Savior, and He can change who you are and make you better! He can take away your tears. He can see through your mistakes and mess-ups, and He loves you more than you can ever know and wants you to live with Him in heaven one day!!! That is my Jesus. That is the Lord I choose to serve. Why would I choose another? :D

Where are you staying, Lord?

"The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, 'Look, the Lamb of God!' When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, 'What do you want?' They said, 'Rabbi' (which means Teacher), 'where are you staying?' 'Come,' he replied, 'and you will see.' So they went and saw where he was staying, and spent that day with him. It was about the tenth hour." John 1:35-39 NIV

I absolutely LOVE this passage of scripture, thanks to the national missions conference Urbana who opened my eyes to the true calling and purpose of Christians - followship.

I still can't believe these disciples; after what, minutes of meeting Jesus?, they asked to be with Him wherever He was. Yeah....what makes me smile is their simple answer to Jesus' question, "What do you want?". Knowing He was the Lamb of God, they could have answered Him with, "We want to see miracles", or "We want you to fix our problems!". But no, they answered simply - - -

We want to Be. With. You.

All they wanted was to be with Jesus; to be in His presence, to be at His feet. To look upon His glory, to learn from Him, to love Him, to cherish Him simply by - - -

Dwelling. With. Him.

That's ALL they desired. And that's all that WE should desire as true Christians. As much as we praise and love Jesus for His ability and willingness to heal our broken, mend our sick, repair our mistakes, and piece our lives back together, we should should truly LOVE Him and desire to follow Him because He is God, the ruler of the universe, the establisher of our faith because of the Cross, the eternal creator of all living things, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords!!!! The beginning and the end, Alpha - Omega! Just knowing THAT about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ should create this longing inside of us to ONLY to be in His presence incessantly!

And of course I do not in any way dismiss His unbelievable and awesome power to do whatever He wills in our own lives; I truly thank Him for His everyday intervention in my life and in other's! And ESPECIALLY for His WONDERFUL work at Calvary! : )

So I guess I got a little off track maybe? I don't even know, but I totally wanna be like one of those disciples who only wanted to be with Jesus, and did not think about what He could do for them. Haha, and the awesome thing about all of this?! Jesus turned to the meek disciples, and I'm sure smiled as He said, "Come, and you will see".

So what do YOU want?

Where are you staying, Lord?

Come, and you will see.

Lord, give me vegetables

Daniel and his three friends were almost perfect specimens of the human race. They had intelligence, charm, good looks, and respect. They were from the royal families of Israel, quick to learn, without any physical defect, and qualified to serve in the palace of King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, where they were chosen to learn the language and literature of the Babylonians. After three years of training, they were to enter the King's service.

What an honor.

Now, I guess you could say that Daniel, Hananiah, Meshael, and Azariah (whose names were changed to Belteshazzar, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego) were good boys. From looking at their character traits and talents and whatnot, you could probably guess that they had grown up in good homes, and were taught the right things by their parents. And furthermore, they had probably lived with their family all the years up till this point in their lives. They left home with a firm foundation under their belt so to speak. And that foundation would be tested.

As soon as they walked into Babylon, their training began. And during the training, they were to be fed well….royal food and wine all around right?! - - - "But Daniel resolved NOT to defile himself with the royal food and wine" (Daniel 1:8a) - - - Wait , what? Daniel, being such an incredible individual that the king chose him over many others, has come to this absolutely amazing kingdom and simply refuses to eat their choice meats and wine? Doesn't sound like a big deal to me! Honestly, I am not sure why Daniel chose not to consume this food and drink. Perhaps it was because in Israel this kind of food was considered unclean, or that the food He was given in Babylon was sacrificed to idols first. Whatever the case, Daniel believed that the food and drink was defiling and therefore refused to eat it, and led his three friends to do the same. He had the official in charge of him and his friends bring them nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink and they became more healthy and well-nourished than all the other young men there. They stood their ground on something that they could've easily said, "oh, it's no big deal, nobody would know and it's just food."

And that brings me to….. yup, us college students. :)

Many of us college students were raised on Christian principles, taught right from wrong from our parents, encouraged to read the Bible daily, hung around friends who held the same conservative views as we did, etc. And then came - COLLEGE. We left home. And home doesn't even have to mean our actual houses. We left the familiarity of our neighborhoods, we left the activities where all our friends gathered, we left our families (i.e. some accountability) , we left what we had relied on all our lives to be there for us. And went to a new place to learn. Sounds like Daniel and his friends, right?

As soon as we step foot in the campus, we are immediately bombarded with stuff people think we should do, be involved in, or accept as fact. And college makes them sound like not a big deal and no one has to know and your life is all about you and on and on and on. But like Daniel, we need to be resolved not to defile ourselves with the ways of this world, even the most minute ways that we don't think will affect us. Because it's not what we do that matters, it's who we are living for, and the direction we travel because of who the the main influence is in our lives. We must stand FIRM grounded in the word of God and surround ourselves with those who will look out for us. We need to stay away from the "choice food and wine" that the world thinks is better for us but is not.

Like Daniel, I say, "Give me vegetables!" :-)

This is the Day the Lord has Made

"I don't wanna be here today", I thought to myself as I rolled over and hit my alarm off. It looked really cold outside, seeing as snow covered every piece of ground there was and watching the trees bending beneath the weight of the chilly wind. The third week of school was about to begin and I was already tired of it. I didn't quite know why I was in such a dire mood; usually I am ready to start school on monday after having a fun weekend. And I HAD had a fun weekend, so why was I complaining?

I got out of bed grumbling silently to myself, got dressed, and put all my books in my backpack whose weight made me wish even more that I didn't have to leave the dorm. I walked to my first class, astronomy, and in that class no one spoke. I mean, who speaks IN CLASS at 7:45 in the MORNING? The hour went by very slowly, and my brother who usually picks me up after my first class on MWF's didn't go to class that morning and forgot to tell me that he was not going to be there to take me back to my dorm. So there I stood waiting for him outside the library . . .in the cold . . .in a not so good mood. After I had had enough of waiting, I started on the long walk back to my dorm. A could not wait to get back; a break between my 8 and 10 class was just what I needed.

Back in the dorm, I began really wondering why in the world I was so . . . down. It really bothered me to say the least. I realized that I was dissatisfied. Not with one or two things, but just dissatisfied in general. In less than I minute, I had my bible open looking up in the index the word "satisfy". Finding myself in the book of Psalms, I read and read, verse after verse.

"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days." Psalm 90:14

"You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing." Psalm 145:16

"Praise the Lord . . .who satisfies your desires with good things." Psalm 103:2a, 5a


Honestly, I thought, how could I possibly be dissatisfied with anything? My Lord's love at every moment of the day should be enough for me to take joy in every single moment of the day. There should never be anything that distracts me from His love. There should never be anything that dissatisfies me because I am satisfied wholly by the knowledge that the "Lord is still on the throne", as a worship song that escapes me goes . . . I should never be dissatisfied no matter what happens because each day is the Lord's and it is always good.

As I am writing this, I am reminded by a simple children's song - "This is the day". The main statement made in the chorus is, "This is the day that the Lord has made and I will be glad and rejoice in it". All I need to satisfy me is the knowledge that the Lord has made each day, and every day He makes is worthy of rejoicing over because all that He makes is good. Nothing else in this world should take my focus off the goodness of my Lord for creating day after day, basically signifying that He is STLL in control. So now when I feel down, I just remember that each day is full of joy because in it, God has placed His love and attention. He takes great care in creating anything He so chooses.

Each. Day. Is. Reason. In. Itself. To. Find. Joy. In. Everything. That. Surrounds. Me.

Yes. :)

Little Things

Little things. Lots and lots of little, minimal, almost unimportant things gone wrong. Why do they build upon each other? Why do they have to grow on top of each other and then look down on me and laugh. I don't usually get upset at one certain aspect of my life. It's, yes, all the little things that bring me down, get me asking "why?". Why does everything fall apart on the same day, week, month, etc? I don't know. At all. So I stop and pity myself. I lay around and feel sorry for myself. What do I expect to happen? Do I expect everything to get better because all I do is dwell on these small things that continue to get under my skin? Maybe. I don't know. But that's still what I do. Every time . . .without fail. And it doesn't work.

It. Doesn't. Work.

As I sit here trying to decide what to type next, my bible is open to James 1. I know a lot about the book of James. Well, at least I used to. Memorized that book a few years back for bible quizzing I did. James is blunt, blunter than most. He's like a fiery preacher with his hand slamming down upon the pulpit. But he speaks truth. Real truth. So I read the first chapter as a friend had suggested. Not hard. He may be a bit harsh but he is easy to read. It's nice. Anyway, I read the verse every Christian knows, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds". Hmm. At this point, the verse doesn't seem so familiar. Maybe I had not looked at it in this light before. Trials of many kinds, huh? Not trials of one kind? I guess not. Trials of MANY kinds . . . ouch. I don't like trials. I mean, come on - who does? But many trials? At the same time? Dude, not cool. But James knew what he was talking about. I mean, here I am in the 21st century moping around due to the fact that these "many trials" are bothering the heck out of me! Okay James, I get it. You know what bothers humans to death from the dawn on time till now. Now what am I supposed to do about it? Consider them joy? JOY?! Ha! How exactly? He doesn't say. I guess that's up to me.

How am I supposed to consider joy all the little stupid aspects of my life that have got me all upset? I have got to do it. Nothing else will work. I guess I could start by praying that I would be joyful. Yes, that would be a start. Then maybe I could thank God for them . . .ahhh but I'm not thankful for them! :( But okay I will thank God for the little trials in my life. Something good must come out of them sooner or later. After all, doesn't the Word say, "All things work together for good, to those who are called according to His purpose"? . . . or something like that? So that means my small trials are all working together for good, right?! That is good news. So next, maybe I should try next to see HOW they work together, look for the reasons that these trials have become so prominent in my life at this point. God must have something awesome in mind. He always does.

Hmm I just thought of something. I know God loves each and every one of us human beings. He is just that awesome. But still, I am sure He gets fed up with us ALL THE TIME. We are humans and therefore make mistakes constantly. I guess I kinda think that maybe we are all those "trials of many kinds" to God. We are the little, stupid, and sometimes (we think) unimportant things that build up and become so unbearable. But God still loves us and He has a plan for each of our lives that we cannot possibly understand or ever try to comprehend. But we are His people and He knows that at the end, everything will work out just right. We need to see the good in each of the trials we encounter just like God sees us as righteous because we have accepted His amazing grace. Okay, so it's not quite the same as God loving us . . .but it's what I need to imagine right now to understand how I am to consider these trials pure joy. It won't be easy. Not at all. And I know sometimes I will want to give up and just take the easy way out and feel sorry for myself. But God has good reasons for what happens to me. He knows what I need. He loves me and wants the best for me, and so I suppose these trials are what I need to take me to the place where God wants me to be.

And that's where I want to be too.